Choosing Joy: The Power of Light in a World of Fear

I want to talk about joy in a time when many feel anything but, and make a case for why cultivating joy matters more than it ever has. 

However, before we talk about joy, we need to address fear. Fear is the ultimate inhibitor of joy. Evolutionarily, it served a very important function. It kept us physically safe from enemies and predators. But life in the 21st century is wildly different than that of our ancestors centuries and millennia ago. Today, we need our fear for things like hiking in grizzly bear country or sensing and fleeing a natural disaster.

Outside of that, fear does little to serve us today. Yet because it remains our hardwired default, it sneaks its way into every nook and cranny, robbing us of our individual power and joy. The people in power know this. The current administration was elected based on fear. For example, they convinced over half our population that their safety and livelihoods were under threat by undocumented immigrants. When we look at the data, it simply isn’t true. But fear is powerful and it is manipulative. Of course people will vote for you if you create a narrative of fear (albeit false) and then convince them that you have the solution (to a problem that doesn’t actually exist). Brené Brown and Dr. Heather Cox Richardson did an awesome two part series on this in October of last year.

When we give into fear, we surrender our power. In other words, when we choose fear we willingly give away our power. 

So how do we hold onto our own power, especially in the face of fear? We consciously choose to focus our energy on what we have control over. What do we have control over? Our emotions. Our beliefs. Our perspective. Our narratives. Our choices. 

We have no control over executive orders. So acknowledge you feel fearful of the whole cascade of them, then consciously choose to say thanks but no thanks. Do not give away your power to someone who wants nothing but power. 

What can we do you wonder? We can vote. We can call our representatives. We can donate to grassroots organizations doing work we believe in. We can volunteer our time and uplift others within our community. We can pour our hearts into the people and things we love most. We can choose joy. 

You read that right. We can choose joy in the face of fear. In fact, we should be choosing joy at every chance we get, for joy can never be taken from us. What we focus on, we get more of, fear and joy included. 

Now, if there’s a part of you that feels like joy is the most selfish thing you could feel when people’s rights and livelihoods are being taken, I hear you. I used to feel this way until I realized that not only was I walking rain cloud carrying the weight of things out of my control, I wasn't using my power for good, which looks like taking action on the things I can control. Then and there I decided to try on a new perspective, one where I used my personal power, and let's call it out for what it is - privilege - to uplift others. I decided that instead of standing in the darkness (fear) as an act of solidarity, I would harness my light (joy), shining it on those living in darkness.

Emotions are contagious, joy and fear included. We all have that person in our lives who tends to be a walking raincloud, living in worry and fear of things they cannot control. And lets be honest, we can only spend so much time with them before we feel entirely drained and exhausted. Conversely, we can all think of that person who embodies love and joy. It seems like no matter what's happening in their life or life around them, they always see the cup as half full; you always feel a bit more optimistic about life after spending time with them. Our world needs more of those people and we all know it. We need more people choosing to stand within their inherent power, consciously choosing joy to diminish darkness.

So what is joy? Anything really, and that’s the beautiful thing about it. Joy is your morning cup of coffee. Joy is waking up to realize that although your toddler is begging you for a snack 23.5 seconds after waking up, they slept all night. Joy is a series of green lights on your morning commute. Joy is turning down the wrong aisle at the grocery store only to see an item you forgot to write on your list. Joy is a penny on the sidewalk and a break in the clouds as you dreadfully step outside to walk the dog. Heck, joy is the privilege of owning rain gear so that you can stay dry while walking the dog. Or the fact that you have a neighborhood safe enough to walk your dog in. The list goes on and on if you let it. Joy is a feeling, but it’s also a perspective. It’s the perspective that allows us to stay in our power so that we can continue to be the change that we wish to see, to keep doing the work of resistance. 

How do you cultivate joy in the face of fear? How do you be the light in the face of darkness? Simply put, you choose joy. You choose to be the light. And yet, I know often it doesn't actually feel that simple because fear is our biological default. However, we all have this super cool superpower called neuroplasticity. Basically, a fancy scientific term for the brain's ability to rewire itself. We can literally build new connections and pathways in our brain by choosing to think and act differently; we can rewire our brains to see the world from a place of joy rather than fear. If that's not one of the coolest things about being human, I'm not sure what is.

With that, I want to invite you to carve out some time to reflect on your relationship with fear and joy. Start with a calm, safe and cozy space. If you don't currently have one of those, make one. Then grab a pen and paper, a fresh glass of water and maybe a hot cup of tea. Light a candle if you wish. 

When you have everything you need, take a deep breath and give yourself a moment to just be. Acknowledge what a gift it is to simply be alive; to have the opportunity to be the change you wish to see in the world. To love and serve those around you. To create beauty in whatever art form speaks to you – whether you bake or paint, build or write, whatever form of creativity lights up your soul.

When you feel grounded and ready, I invite you to pick up your pen and start writing. What are your fears? What worries do you carry with you on a daily basis? What are the thoughts that keep you up at night? Write until you feel like you've released all that you've been carrying.

Then take another moment to acknowledge just how much you've been carrying. When you’re ready, go back to your list. This time, circle the things you have control over. Stay out of the rabbit hole, simply circle the things that you have full control over. My best guess is that you have very few circles. Which means that you’re giving away your power, time and energy to things you cannot control. You’re doing exactly what the people in power want you to do.

So let’s make a new list. A list that invites you to hold onto your power and feel good in spite of everything happening around you. What brings you joy? If you can’t think of anything, try exploring what would bring you joy if life's circumstances were different. Then commit yourself to more of everything on that list. If it feels right, read your list out loud to openly declare your commitment to more joy.

That’s it. Close out your exercise with whatever feels good to you. Then go about your life with joy in mind. When you notice worry or fear sneaking back in, check in with yourself. Is that worry or fear something you can control? If not, say thanks but no thanks and refocus your attention on something you can control, remembering that this is an opportunity to rewire your brain. Direct your thoughts to something that makes you feel joyful. Remember your inherent power and ability to be the change you want to see within your community. Remind yourself that joy is an innate form of resistance. Coupled with action (on things we can control), its the most powerful tool for creating change. We can be the change we wish to see in the world. We simply need to make the conscious choice to decline fear over and over and over again, choosing joy instead. Be the light you wish to see in the world, a nod to Dr. Martin Luther King who decades later continues to remind us all that “darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”

With love and light,

P.S. If you're wondering the connection between joy and home, let's jump on a call, as home is one of the first and best places to practice cultivating joy.

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